


Max

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Aliases, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e22 Plan B, Gen, Identity Issues, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21757894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: He hated being Max
Kudos: 7





	Max

Deeks stared down at the worn leather jacket. He had sworn he would never wear this again. He hated being Max. Hated how easy it came. Hated how Nicole loved this persona, just as – no. No, he wouldn't go there. He had never hurt Nicole.

He flipped the jacket over, the hood flopping against his hand. He hated Ray for doing something so stupid and confusing this morning. He hated him for making Deeks question his own judgment, and the man he had known all his life. But mostly he hated him for making Max a necessary evil again.

It would be easy to become Max again, but how hard would it be to go back to being Deeks after?

*

"So, what's Max Gentry like?"

A bastard. A psychotic asshole.

"He's just a guy."

Of course that wouldn't satisfy Kensi. "Okay. Does he have an accent? Is he… shy, life of the party, wine guy, beer guy?"

Beer and liquor. A drunk for the ages. No, nothing so prominent. Just a violent jerk.

"Know what I mean? How'd you come up with him?"

And that he would never answer.

"Just an alias I threw together. It's no big deal." Maybe she would finally take the hint and stop asking – not that Kensi was the 'take a hint' type…

"Okay... Well, I should go in first. I'll wait at the bar."

No. No. Nope.

"Nope. I think it's better if I go in alone."

Deeks quickly slipped out of the car. There was absolutely no reason for her to see the way he was about to act. He desperately wished he could pull out his earbud so she'd never even hear it, but of course then she'd follow. Better the lesser of two evils. Better not to drive her opinion of him down even further.

Because what kind of person could play Max so easily? What kind of person could act so cruelly if it wasn't already deep inside of them? How much was he really like his – no.

No.

Best to keep Kensi as far away as possible right now. Best to avoid her questions. Best to just get this over with as soon as possible. Best to quickly tuck Max back into his box again.

*

"Okay, cuff me." As soon as the words spilled from his mouth, Deeks regretted them. But he also knew they were necessary. This was the best way to figure out what was going on with Ray.

If Max walked into that room, Kensi and the others would know more about Deeks than he ever wanted them to: more than he ever wanted anyone to know. But for Ray, he'd do it.

As Kensi walked him down the hall, he briefly wondered if this was how Kensi had felt a few months ago when she went to tell Talbot about her finace with the PTSD. She had known then that the guys were watching, that they would learn about something she had clearly been trying to hide. But she had done it, almost without hesitation.

Deeks had to be as brave as her. So when they reached the door and Kensi hesitated, silently asking if he was really going to go through with this, he simply nodded. And he knew, deep in his heart, that he wasn't only doing this so he could see Nicole in person again. So she could see Max. He was doing this – also – because it was the right thing to do.

*

"It's okay, I know her. I'll head over there." Even as he said the words, Deeks knew they were wrong. But could they blame him? He had just been Max, had just been in the role. Surely they had taken a few moments to adjust to the change before. He shook his head "Max knows her."

They stared at him, his team, and he could see it on their faces. But maybe they'd let him play this off. "What?" None of them even twitched. Okay, time for Plan B.

"I'm fine. Really." He wasn't, but they couldn't know that. They couldn't know how much he wanted to be with Nicole. But mostly they couldn't know how much of Max was in him right now.

Of course, Callen seemed to know anyway. "You're fine out here, or you're fine in there? Cause the only thing in there I saw that wasn't real was your alias. And even that I'm not so sure about."

That was a low blow: lower than Callen probably realized. But Deeks couldn't show it. He threw out the first thing that came to mind. "When I got the flu, the LAPD didn't bring me chicken soup: she did. I'm in control." Maybe if he kept saying it they'd believe him. Maybe if he kept saying it he'd believe himself.

Callen didn't seem to believe him, but he backed off anyway. "Okay. We'll get this Jenna girl and bring her in."

As the senior team left, Deeks tried to avoid looking at Kensi, inviting her to continue the interrogation. He couldn't do this anymore. Not with Nicole there on the screen. Not with the taste of her on his lips. Not with this jacket on, pulling his normally comfortable t-shirt tight across his throat.

He barely heard Kensi's words, or his own responses, until one question broke through his haze.

"Are you going to tell her the truth?

Do you know what the truth is?

"I don't think she wants to hear it."

Did Deeks himself even know what the truth was?

"But doesn't she deserve it?"

Was Deeks pretending to be Max today, or had Max been pretending to be Deeks all along?


End file.
